Topic, Facts about Chuck Norris

  chuck norris feed

  I Remember when I was in Englnd, I saw one of the doubledekker bus passing.
And there stood "Ross doesn't watch TV, he sees right through it"
S I thought: Quit stealing Chuck Norris's habits!

  Yup, it's educational. :D
dere r facts durh

  found this:
Nostradamus' prophecies regarding Chuck Norris: In the coming year President Bush's approval rating will fall to a dismal 4.8%. Fueled by the support of this web-site Chuck Norris will take power in the bloodiest revolution man has ever seen. Steven Segal will be named vice president, and Jean Claude Van Dam the secretary of defense. Focusing on foreign policy, Norris will end the fight between Jews and Muslims over the Holy Land by eliminating Jews and Arabs completely and renaming the Holy Land Texas-2. With Jews and Arabs gone the economy will boom, the entertainment industry will collapse, and local Dunkin Donuts shall be found abandoned. Norris will go on to expel all illegal immigrants into France via the roundhouse kick. France will become gayest, laziest, and filthiest country in world history and will be eliminated completely in Chuck's second term. At this point it will be realized that the second coming of Christ has occurred, and Chuck Norris will replace the Holy Spirit as part of the Holy Trinity. Global warming will eventually destroy all living things, except Chuck Norris. Norris will asexually reproduce, forming a second Chuck Norris. An argument regarding beard grooming will cause the greatest battle conceivable. When both Chucks roundhouse each other simultaneously the universe will be destroyed. Ironically only the Norris's beard particles will have been strong enough to continue existence. The beards will stand as proof that the only universal force in the world is Chuck Norris.

  Jesus can walk on water... Chuck Norris can swim on land.

If you have $5, god has $5 and Chuck Norris has 5$, Chuck Norris has the most money.

  it's in an educational section? O_O

  You never know what life is going to throw at you.
Life never knows what Chuck Norris is going to throw at it!

Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands. No ther'yre just the Islands.

The worlds spinning of its axis is actually just Chuck Norris's Treadmill,

  The story of Chuck Norris

  that movie is a lie, Chuck Norris can't die or the universe ends...

  when chuck norris jumps into the water, he doesn't get wet. the water gets chuck norris.

Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you in the face.. from behind.

Chuck Norris can pee his name into concrete.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. Now they are just called 'The Islands'

you can kill Chuck Norris. you need Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight and Benito Mussolini and The Blue Meanie and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie Robocop, the Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan! Too bad he killed them all tommorow.

Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.

When Kim Jong Il Googled Chuck Norris, the earth shook.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

  Chuck Norris doesnt scared of the midnight. The midnights is scared of Chuck Norris.

  Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris is an American martial artist and actor.

  Got some more ;-)

1) When Chuck Norris does push ups, he doesn't push himself up... He pushes the earth down.

2) There are no steriods in baseball. Only players Chuck Norris has breathed on...

3) Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger and yelling ''Bang''.

4) Chuck Norris doesn't use butter, he roundhouse kicks a cow and the butter comes straight out.

5) When the boogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

  ooh got another one :3
Chuck Norris can see the 4th dimension

  Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice.

It looks like chicken, it tastes like chicken and it WAS a chicken, but if Chuck Norris says it's a cow it's a cow, period.

  did anyone look at mine? :)
I have 15

  The only thing what Chuck Norris can't do is lie, the truth changes to match Chuck Norris words.

  allyally roflmao ^^

  Chuck Norris can believe its not butter.

  Chuck norris eats black holes for breakfast
Chuck norris can stop a speeding train in a negative 5 seconds
Chuck norris can watch a movie of 2 hours in 45 minutes
Time is too fast for everyone, for Chuck norris it is too slow.
Chuck norris doesn't wash himself, he slams a dirty place of his body until it goes away, the other dirts goes away out of fear.
Chuck norris can find the corner of a circle.
Chuck norris should already be dead, but "The Dead" doesn't have the courage to say it.

  oh and like mine?
I want short funny facts even made up :)

  I know one about Rosa Parks.

Why didn't she give up her seat?
She was saving it for Chuck Norris

  post your epic chuck norris facts :D

Chuck Norris weighs EXACTLY 3.7 grams
Chuck Norris is the inventor, father and mother of Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can only be beaten at chess by his chicken
Chuck Norris can run at the speed of light squared
Chuck Norris can spit lightning
Chuck Norris is the cause of 5% of all disasters
Chuck Norris can prove 2 is bigger than 4
Chuck Norris can chop his finger off and grow a Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris' blood is 7% plutonium
Chuck Norris can end the universe by saying 7 code words in a specific order in 3 seconds
Chuck Norris consists of 45% awesome, 35% amazing and 25% awkward
Chuck Norris can make water set alight by humming to it
Chuck Norris can create a bomb out of straws, cellotape and wool
Chuck Norris invented humour
Chuck Norris can defy all laws of physics at will
Chuck Norris can see the 4th dimension